


Break The Silence

by ProfDrLachfinger



Category: Preacher (Comics), Preacher (TV)
Genre: But nothing really serious i think, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Male Slash, PWP, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Slash, Smut, just some fluffy porn I guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-21 13:54:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11358852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProfDrLachfinger/pseuds/ProfDrLachfinger
Summary: Jesse can't handle the burden of his new powers and he over does it on the alcohol. Cassidy, who has already an eye on the preacher tries to help him. In his very own way.





	Break The Silence

**Author's Note:**

> Well, this fic has been knocking around my computer since June last year. When I was in the middle of the first Preacher season I deeply needed some Jesse/Cassidy fluff ... which somehow turned to smut xD And I thought with the second season having started already I might actually post it finally ... So here we are xD
> 
> This isn't beta-read and English is not my native language.

[ ](http://profdrlachfinger.tumblr.com/post/149712278317/jesse-custer-proinsias-cassidy-jessidy-finally)

*

 _"And though I hear your distant call; You’re hiding there behind your wall_  
_Still I hear your desperate call; So reach out now I cure it all_  
_Come on now come talk to me; Come on now come talk to me_  
_Come on; And break your silence"_

_FIDDLERS GREEN – Break The Silence_

*

Dim sunlight filtered through the drawn shutters. The flimsy contraption of wooden panels and string kept out the most of the burning glare, transforming it into a milder shine. Going by the quality of the sun's light it was already well past noon.

Jesse's eyes cracked open and were hit by the shiny glow of the softly illuminated room. Behind his forehead a throbbing pain pressed at his eyes, which he closed again immediately. A low moan bubbled up from a chest that felt heavy und clotted with dust. Luckily the events of the last night were still a long way away and Jesse rolled around the bed, in a blissful state of confusion.

How had he gotten into bed?

He lifted his arm and feebly rubbed at his bearded face. The stubble underneath his fingertips was sharp and irritating, so he stopped that. By lowering his arm he touched something strange lying in bed next to him. Nerves – dulled by the uncounted drinks from yesterday evening – flared up like set on fire. In a swish of grubby blankets and cushions, Jesse turned around and blindly grabbed for that strange thing in question.

In this occasion it happened to be Cassidy's ankle. A dingy chair had been drawn up to the bed and currently contained the even lankier form of the vampire with his feet swung up and lying barefooted on the mattress. The tall man had the ability of making himself smaller than he actually was. Thus his elbows were propped up on the chair's arm-rests, his shoulders hunched up and his head hanging in an awkward angle. Seemingly undisturbed by Jesse's frantic grabbing, Cass' eyes blinked open and he slowly uprighted himself.

"Yeh awake, Padre?" he grinned, his accent thick.

"S'pose so," Jesse murmured, still grabbing the other man’s ankle.

With the grin still displaying his teeth in a rather ghoulish way, weary eyes fluttered over the half propped-up form of the disheveled preacher. If last night was anything to go by, Jesse must have a headache driving into him with the force of a sledge hammer. And still a simmering need for the self-destructiveness he had exhibited the evening before.

Yesterday, Cass had run some errands … Well, buying more Whiskey to get drunk on, really. When he had returned to the church he had found the preacher in a mood Cass only saw in the rarest of moments, when Jesse was oblivious of his surroundings and his self-loathing breached through the wall that was his face. The Word of God had done something to him and Jesse though he was in no position to put that power to christian use. He felt he couldn''t keep his promise of being One of the Good Guys.

He kept all those feelings locked away until they finally burst out, when the preacher was drunk enough to let his guard down and break his silence. He had thrown empty Whiskey bottles, candles and song-books at the wooden cross, missing horribly. All the while he was yelling non-coherent things, which sometimes died down to sobs and then again to angry screams.

Lucky for Cassidy, the preacher was so intoxicated that it was rather easy of wrangling the next bottle of booze out of his hands and to calm him down. Calming him down was mainly yelling at Jesse, longer than Jesse could yell back at him. As soon as that was done the alcohol took its toll and the preacher doubled over, got sick and passed out.

After that Cassidy gathered the dark haired man up in his arms and put him to bed, fighting with the stiff collar and the weight of an unconscious person. While stripping Jesse of his jeans and black shirt Cass was painfully aware of the slow, drunken pulse thumping in the preacher's neck. The vein rose and fell, showing the steady flood of fresh, warm blood. For a moment the vampire sat transfixed, drinking in the earthy smell of the preacher. It was enticing just to bend down, put his lips on the warm neck and split the skin with a swift bite, letting the blood flow free.

But Cassidy couldn't. He liked the preacher. He loved him. If there was anything Cass was sure about, it were his feelings for the dark haired man, trying so hard to keep his silence and soldier on.

A rustle of blankets broke Cassidy's reverie and his eyed focussed once more on the slouching man. Jesse had slumped back into bed, his hand still grabbing Cass ankle with a little more force than he would have needed.

"Can I get yeh anytin'? Maybe an aspirin would be o' some help," Cassidy chuckled, but only half-heartedly. He was still regarding the preacher's face that again sat like an unmovable mask.

The vampire licked his lips unconsciously. Jesse's pulse was back to normal again and now sounded like a ripping flood to Cass' ears, strumming his nerves. Hunger ground in his belly and he was fighting hard to suppress it. He would never bite the preacher, but kissing … Oh kissing would be another matter.

"Nah 'm fine," came the slurred reply. Jesse turned his head away, somehow he felt like he couldn't look at the vampire.

Yesterday, Jesse thought. What had happened yesterday? He scrunched up his face, pressing the eyes shut with force, trying to work against the pressure of the headache. He couldn't remember much, there was only the lingering tang of self-loathing and the certainty that all he did would go to waste. It wouldn't change anything in the world. He wasn't one of the Good Guys.

Only when Cassidy pulled his foot out of Jesse's crushing grip, the preacher became aware that Cass must have been here the whole night. Why would he have dragged up a chair and sleept in it, if everything was in order? He liked that man. He liked having him around. Somehow the easy going attitude of the vampire helped Jesse enjoy his late night drinks sometimes. But yesterday must have been different.

"Yeh look to me anytin' but fine. Yeh look like shite, my word," Cassidy commented with raised eyebrows.

Going by the creaking of the chair and the wooden floor, the vampire must haven gotten up. Jesse turned his head only an inch or so, before watching the other man out of the corner of his eye. The ripped jeans and the beat-up t-shirt still clung to the wiry frame, which betrayed nothing of his inhuman power.

Jesse met Cass' eyes and there he saw it again. It was some kind of longing that now and then glimmered in the vampires eyes. The preacher knew that Cassidy mainly survived on the cow's blood Jesse brought him from the nearby butcher. Cass had told him that he'd only drink human blood when he was seriously attacked and in danger. Never on purpose. But Jesse knew for sure that the last time the vampire had eaten was at least two or three days ago. The last few days Cassidy had only lived on booze and drugs. So maybe …

"Now c'mere, Padre. I'll go and get yeh some asp–" Cassidy rambled on but was brought short.

"Cass," the preacher's voice was husky and brittle after all the shouting, but it still carried very well through the stuffy quiet of the dusty bedroom. "Come here for a sec."

Cassidy shut his moth rather theatrically and raised his eyebrows once more in a exaggerate manner, but he still shuffled over to the man in the bed. The preacher's already messy hair now looked like a black halo, fanned out on the white pillow sheet. He was lying on his side somewhat, so he had the larger part of his back turned to Cass. Unsure what Jesse wanted he stood in front of the bed, licking his lips and fumbling with the fraying hem of his shirt.

Carefully, Cassidy bent over, trying not to suck in the preacher's scent too obviously and started, "I know yesterday …" Again the vampire stopped, because Jesse had lifted a hand and held it out.

"Take it," Jesse ordered. It was uttered without much force or even the use of the Word of God, but it still held a command Cassidy couldn't refuse.

Also, the preacher had drunken bloody much yesterday, so who knew what kind of toxins still surged though his system. A little bit enguarde Cassidy reached out out his hand and laid it into the pro-offered one. Jesse's skin was warm, it felt dry and rough at some edges and Cass just wanted to run his fingers over the knuckles, the back of the hand and over the palm. Instead he realized that now he could feel the pumping blood in Jesse's veins even more clearly than before. He shuddered.

"I don't see how holding hands will help yeh, Jesse. But if you t'ink it will, far be it from me, to deny yeh," Cass babbled, trying to downplay his rising nervousness. He should have taken the cow's blood, instead of the bloody heroine. But how could he have known that the preacher wanted to get touchy all of a sudden.

"Lay down," was the next rumbled order Jesse gave Cass, accompanied with a slight tug to the vampire's hand.

Forgetting himself, Cassidy set one knee on the mattress, making it bend and the frame creak and crawled awkwardly onto the bed. He tried to find a position that wasn't so compromising but somehow he still ended up spooning the preacher, since he was holding his hand.

Cass swallowed, "Jesse I–"

Without so much as another word, Jesse put Cassidy's hand full on his throat, pressing down. The vampire jerked, trying to pull away, but the preacher held fast.

Jesse felt his own puls accelerate. He couldn't look Cassidy in the eye for this, but he needed his friend's help now. Yesterday's event had slowly become clearer and clearer to him, as memory settled back in its accustomed place of aching pain.

Cass fingers on his throat had a strangely calming feeling. But they twitched and stiffened ever so often when Jesse's pulse rushed blood through his veins. He felt Cassidy's hunger lingering on the fingertips, carried on his breath down his neck.

It was hard for Cassidy not to rip his hands free and gather the preacher into a crushing hug. To bear down on him and just kissing him till he fought for air. Never had he been so close to Jesse and never had another human being had such an effect on him. And he had come in touch with many humans. Real touch.

"I know you're hungry, Cass," Jesse stated flatly.

Ripped out of his longing thoughts for Jesse, Cass was only able to snap a clipped "What?"

This time Jesse couldn't stop Cassidy from pulling back his hand, that only moments ago had felt so enticingly on his throat. Cassidy sat up with such force, that the whole bed swayed and made the preacher turn around to face him fully.

"What," Cass hissed nearly inaudibly, "Did you say just now?"

There was a threatening edge to Cass' usually so carefree voice, that made Jesse sit up a little bit straighter, propping his upper body up on his elbows.

"Oh, come on Cass, no point in denying it, is there?" Jesse cocked his head. "The last time you ate was – when – three days ago? You must be hungry."

Nervousness rose in Jesse, making him doubt his decision. But the memory, the pain of yesterday evening was crushing him. He couldn't take it anymore. And he knew that once Cass would have had the first taste of blood, when he would start feeding, there would be no stopping him. He pictured himself growing sleepier and sleepier and the world sliding away. And he would just lay in Cassidy's arms, letting go. Just letting go of it all.

Cassidy's attack took him by surprise. The vampire gave Jesse's shoulders a sharp push and knocked him back into the mattress following suit.

Having pinned Jesse down under him, Cass hovered over the preacher, searching the impassive face, showing only a minimum of emotion. Cassidy's accelerated breath was taking in Jesse's smell with every gasp, reminding him how close they were.

"I can't believe yeh, Jesse!" Cass barked. "Did yer just try to get me to drink yer blood, in hope I would forget meself and kill yeh?!" His voice rose with each spoken word until he shouted at the other man.

"What? No! Didn't say that, did I?" Jesse retorted, lying. He tried to twist away from Cass' grip, which was becoming inhumanly strong.

"Oh yes, yeh did." Cassidy whispered, sounding defeated, all of his raging hate towards the preacher had been spent up within the moment. He loved the other man and thought Jesse liked him back well enough, too. But apparently he had been wrong. He sat back on the mattress, easing the grip on Jesse's shoulders. "And here I was, t'inking you wouldn't see me as an abomination …"

Jesse stopped his movement and looked at Cassidy more closely. The vampire was sitting between his legs, the shoulders slumped and the head bowed. Jesse's heart began to ache.

Softly, he replied, "You're not an abomination, Cass. I didn't mean–"

Once more Cass was too fast and knocked Jesse back into the mattress. Not bruising him really, but still hard to enough to show that he had been hurt by Jesse's remark.

"If I'm not an abomination, why are yeh trying to make me do abomination-stuff?" Cassidy demanded bitterly.

Jesse wanted to defend himself but then he realized what he had done. All caught up behind his wall of self-loathing and his wish for it all to end, he had forgotten what Cass meant to him. How one should act as a true friend.

Suddenly rough lips were pressed onto his own, taking him into a bruising kiss. Startled, Jesse tried breaking the kiss, but Cassidy held him fast. Pressing his eyes shut, a sudden tingling, ripped down his spine towards his groin. The hands that had been pinning him down, started to loose and were moving towards his chest in a stroking motion.

A deep moan ripped itself from Jesse's throat, as he gave in to Cassidy's kiss. At first the vampire had been rough and demanding, but now he was … Careful. With gentle licks he opened Jesse's lips and gradually slipped past.

All of Jesse's self-hatred and doubt and his stupid idea to ask Cassidy to drink his blood and kill him, were swept away by a wave of lust. As if it had been held fast with a thick knot, all his passion and desire burst free and flooded his body in a wave tasting of tobacco and whiskey.

The kiss they were sharing made Cass go wild. All his own penned up feelings for Jesse drove themselves into that one kiss. With each touch, each stroke the vampire could feel the preacher's blood, pulsing through the veins, red hot.

Breaking away from Jesse's mouth, Cassidy began nipping and kissing all along Jesse's neck, from the soft spot beneath the ear down along the graceful neck till he had reached the collarbone.

Due to the interrupted kiss, Jesse was able to breath out, "Cass, I'm sorry …"

The sound of ripping fabric and a low growl gave Jesse a start. He lowered his head and beheld his naked chest: His white under-shirt had been ripped through in the middle and was falling to each side of his chest. A slight panic started to rise inside him, but was fought down by his raging desire.

"If yeh want me to do abomination-stuff, I'll do yeh abomination-stuff," Cassidy mumbled huskily, bending over the exposed chest.

Before Jesse could reply anything, Cassidy placed his lips on Jesse's chest with careful deliberation, grazing a nipple. He was savoring the warm feel of skin, the smell of the preacher and foremost, the dull throbbing of blood. It wasn't a physical hunger, stirring inside the vampire, it was lust.

Too high with his own arousal, Jesse submitted himself to Cass' administrations. The only thing he was feeling at the moment was elation and … Relief. Being with Cass had always felt familiar, but now they had reached a whole new level. Before today he had seen the vampire as a very good friend, but looking back, maybe he had misread his own feelings. Very much so.

Calloused hands were traveling over his exposed body, were Cassidy beforehand had placed kisses and whispered small endearment against the skin. A touch to his nipples, his ribs, his waist. All these gestures were traveling further and further downward, until they reached the tight waistband of the preacher's boxers, already straining with his arousal.

"You don't need to, Cass," Jesse whispered, but felt himself shiver in anticipation, when Cassidy daftly plucked at his under pants.

"I know. But yeh wanted me sucking yer blood, but that's not happenin'. Everything else … Is open for debate," with that he yanked down Jesse's boxers in one go and bend low.

The first contact of Cassidy's tongue and Jesse's erection sent sparks up his stomach into Jesse's chest, where they exploded.

"God!" was all that Jesse was capable of chocking out, before his speech drowned in moans. With frantic hands he searched for purchase, on the mattress, on the headboard and finally on Cass.

Cassidy worked himself up and down slowly and determinedly. This was what he had dreamt of all this time before. To be with Jesse, to make him feel good, to love him. The groans and the occasional bucking of Jesse's hip told him, that he at least could make him feel good. For a little while.

The heat that had spread inside the preacher's body started to become too much to bear. It radiated off from between his legs, were Cassidy perched, like a huge bat, sucking him off. That image was too much for Jesse; Like an implosion the glowing heat contracted and surged back. Impact.

"Cass, I'm cum…"

As if on cue, Cassidy pinned Jesse's hips down hard and bend as low as he could and took it all in.

His vision exploded into stars. The late afternoon light that has lent the room its soft glow became a glare, warming him through and through, before evaporating into a shiny haze. Jesse blinked his eyes. His whole body felt drained. Not only drained of energy, but also drained of his dark and gloomy thoughts from yesterday night. All there was was a fuzzy feeling underneath his ribs and the crumbling of his wall.

As not to destroy this blissful state, Jesse lifted his head gently and laid his eyes upon Cass. The vampire was still sitting between his legs, his hands stroking Jesse's slightly bruised hip, a very small and careful smile on his face.

"T'is was better than blood suckin', aye?" he asked with an even huskier voice now, licking his lips in between.

Jesse sensed the anxiety and uncertainty coming from Cassidy and was immediately filled with a brutal pang of guilt. Cass sat there like a schoolboy waiting to be punished for his actions, radiating a feeling of guilt and fear. But it wasn't Cassidy, who should be punished, it was him. Jesse had planned to use his best friend … His only friend to kill himself. He should be the one feeling anxious about being rejected for his actions, not Cass.

Jesse grabbed one of Cass' idly stroking hands and gave it a hesitant tug. And as if the preacher had used the greatest strength, the vampire gave way, and let himself be gathered up by Jesse in a loving embrace.

"I am truly sorry for what I've said to you, Cass," Jesse murmured against Cassidy's soft brown hair, turning the gesture into a kiss.

And suddenly a low rumble escaped Cassidy's throat and Jesse knew that sound only too well. Cass was trying to stay mad at him, but as always he couldn't so instead he grumbled in mock-offense. Jesse gave a low chuckle himself.

"Never've I seen you as an abomination, only as a friend. And now I've found out that I was hugely mistaken," Jesse continued.

Cass' body went rigid inside the embrace and Jesse couldn't help but let a little grin split his lips, when he moved to meet Cassidy eye to eye.

"You're more than just a friend, Cass. I love you."

The vampire blinked. Then an answering smile was starting to blossom on his face, only held back by an enormous amount of self-restraint.

"And yeh are a right out tool for taking so long to notice. Yeh know, you should take a peek over that wall of yours, you've built around yerself. I mean com on, Padre, who says 'suck my blood' as a code for 'suck my dick', what a vampire-cliché," Cassidy was now laughing openly and leaning into the embrace. "I love yeh too, Padre."

Entwined like that they remained for the last hours of the sun roaming the sky, before it slipped past the horizon, taking its scorching light with it. And in that cocoon of warmth, proximity and love, Jesse broke his silence and Cassidy was there, to cure it all.

**~ FIN ~**


End file.
